i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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