I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
