If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
