People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
