i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
