Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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