Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
