I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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