Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
People in love make me want to vomit
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
