i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
