People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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