It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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