he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
