apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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