this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
