um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
