I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
