The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
