I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
