What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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