how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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