i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
