The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
