I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
