literally had 100 drinks last night.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
