Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
