I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
