How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
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