I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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