i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
