this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she peed on how many people?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
