Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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