I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
