So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
