I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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