He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
