whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
