I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
