Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
