Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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