well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
