Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
