I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
