STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So squirting runs in the family.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
