Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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