that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
