I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
