hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
