How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
