I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
